Tolerance versus Blind Acceptance of Discriminatory Customs

I liked this statement that I read today on the UN website entitled “Étude sur la liberté de religion ou de conviction et la condition de la femme au regard de la religion et des traditions”

"Not all traditions are equally valid, and those which run counter to human rights must be combated. It is essential to distinguish between tolerance, which is necessary, and blind acceptance of customs which may involve degrading treatment or blatant violations of human rights. In order to ensure that freedom of religion does not undermine women's rights, it is vital that the right to difference which that freedom implies should not be interpreted as a right to indifference to the status of women. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Where, after all, do human rights begin? In small places, close to home”."
http://www.ohchr.org/english/issues/religion/III1.htm

What is wrong with the men here?

Last night, as I was leaving my Arabic lesson, a young boy (maybe 14 max?) walked past me on dark and reasonably lonely pavement. As he approached me, he leant in and whispered something into my ear. He also grabbed my arm for a split second. I didn't understand what he whispered, but it was threatening and intimidating and certainly wasn't meant to be a pleasant experience for me.
I walked home and fumed (and occasionally cried) for the next 40 minutes. Why would such a young boy feel entitled to intimate and harass me in this way? What on earth is his view of women (and, of course, Western women in particular)?
I was wearing many layers of clothing that covered my arms and legs. I had on a pair of trainers and a coat that was buttoned to my neck (I was kind of hot, actually!). So I was not "on display" in any way... (just in case anyone thinks I might be to blame...)
As this blog makes clear, I am deeply saddened by the way women are treated in this society. As a liberated, strong, free woman, I feel that I am being pressurised every day to be meek and to cover myself and to stare at the floor. Ideally, it seems, I wouldn't leave the house.
One person has told me that I am a guest in this society and should leave if I don't like the customs. But this isn't "custom." This is a social outlook that encourages even young boys to threaten and subdue the women that pass them on the street.
I do not believe that society in the US or the UK is perfect. And I am not 'bashing' every aspect of the Muslim world or claiming that there is true equality between the sexes in any other country. But I am angry and dismayed and horrified at the deep-seated and very public sexism in this society. Even if the Quran does call for a 'barrier' between the sexes, this barrier should also be respected by men. The men, as much as the women, should lower their gaze and not intrude into a woman's personal space. They should keep their sexuality in check in public spaces. Here, men's actions towards women are tinged with violence and are intended to continually underline male supremacy. I feel strangled and it is a fight for me every day to not become subdued and a little defeated.
I do not care what women wear. I do not care if the sexes never look each other in the eye. But I do care that women are continually threatened in the street, are completely absent from political positions (Egypt was ranked 130 out of 134 countries in the "Women in Parliament" rankings, 2005: http://www.ipu.org/wmn-e/arc/classif300906.htm), and that educational opportunities and even health care are nowhere near as readily available to women as to men (see World Economic Forum rankings on women's equality in Egypt at http://www.weforum.org/pdf/Global_Competitiveness_Reports/Reports/gender_gap.pdf. Women's empowerment is ranked from 7 (highest) to 1 (lowest) and Egypt comes near the bottom at 2.38 out of 7).
I do not want one societal model that is implemented around the world. I value the differences that exist from culture to culture, including the degree to which religion is integrated into political and legal life. I accept the principle of modest dress and behaviour, as long as it is demanded of men as much as women. But sexual inequality and a culture of aggression towards and repression of women should be eliminated in every society. I feel in Egyptian society that there is a long way to go.
I am angered when I am living in the UK and US because I am very aware of the gender discrimination and 'glass ceilings' that still exist. As a woman, I face extra hurdles when I contemplate how to balance a career and children. I have to continually assess whether, if I choose to wear makeup or shave my legs, I am bowing to masculine desires and demands. I have to consider why I always feel the need to lose another few pounds in weight. But my anguish in those societies can't match the anger that I feel living in this society where I am physically and mentally assaulted by men every single day.

Women in Iran

I have been reading this morning about women in Iran. My attention was drawn to the issue in part because Delaram Ali, a woman's rights activist from Iran, was recently sentenced to a flogging and two-and-a-half years in prison for working against the state. Amnesty International and other groups are calling for her release.
(see http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7088310.stm)

The BBC also has an article on the "fashion police" in Iran and how the authorities are attempting to get Iranian women to dress more conservatively. The article is interesting, but what I found most thought-provoking were the comments that follow the article. Some people criticise the BBC reporter for being too negative: one woman asks "We certainly do not question what is worn by the average person on the streets of London, Paris or Berlin? So why is there such a great interest in Iran?"

Another woman emphasises the way in which wearing the veil can be empowering - but also stresses how heavy-handed governmental enforcement of women's dress can make lead to distorted social views of women. This is how the veil becomes an article of oppression rather than of liberation:

"The issue of hejab occupies the minds of women and men alike since the Islamic revolution in 1979. A woman convinced of the necessity of hejab feels that she does not wish to attract the stares of strange men by exposing her body and hair and stressing the beauty of her face. She wants to be valued as a person, not as a beauty. In many Islamic countries, women wear hejab, but with much more variety. While I like to cover up, I think that the authorities, when imposing hejab shortly after the revolution, went too far and were too restrictive. Thereby, they created sensivities in men that it is now difficult to get rid of."
Madleine, Tehran, Iran

"Manifesto of a Veiled Woman"

At the “women in cyberspace” conference that I went to at AU on Monday night, Mona Eltahawy’s young sister told a wonderful story about the preconceptions that surround women who choose to wear the veil. Mona’s sister (whose name I didn’t catch – I will call her Laura, because that’s my sister’s name!) has decided to wear the hijab. She stated that veiled women in Egypt walk a tight line: the fundamentalists don’t like these women (they aren’t covered enough) and the liberals want to save every one of them. Laura described how, one day at college, she wanted to fill in a questionnaire on the topic of beauty. So she asked for a copy of the questionnaire and was told that veiled women were not allowed to fill it out. This led Laura to use her facebook account to vent her frustration. On facebook, she published her “manifesto of the veiled woman.” This manifesto included statements such as 1) I have sexual desires like any other woman/person; 2) I care about beauty. Laura said that she was sick and tired of being viewed as a vegetable.
Before long, she received a message from an Egyptian man who clearly could not cope with this open expression of sexual desire. Egyptian man told Laura that she was “a danger to society.” Egyptian men, he declared, did not want to marry women like this so Laura would have to (quote) “turn to homos.” Laura promptly blocked this charming man from her facebook account. But she made a final telling remark: cyberspace provided her with a relatively safe space to express her desires and individuality. And she was able quite easily to block the Egyptian man who took such offense. But if she had stood at a street corner and declared such beliefs, would she have been so safe?

Women in Cyberspace: Talk at American Univ, Cairo

On Monday, November 5th, I went to a panel discussion at AU on "Her Space, Our Space: Girls and Women Pushing the Boundaries of Cyberspace." The panel was chaired by Mona Eltahawy, an Egyptian journalist whose writings on the Arab world appear regularly in Arab and U.S. media. (see her website at http://monaeltahawy.com/). The discussion threw a fascinating perspective on the spaces women are using to assert their voices, and the subversive potential of blogs and internet use. Here are some of the highlights of the discussion:

Mona Eltahawy opened the discussion by describing how she became addicted to blogs – first through Kuwaiti, and then Saudi bloggers. She fell in love with one blog in particular: one that was written by “Saudi Girl”, a woman who dreamed of the day she could wear flip-flops and show off her toe ring and nail varnish. “I loved this girl!” Mona said. After giving a paper on blogs to a prestigious meeting of journalists, and urging those present to check out Saudi Girl’s site to discover the way women were using cyberspace to push boundaries, Mona discovered that Saudi Girl was actually Saudi Guy…. “But,” Mona said, “I wasn’t disappointed.” Instead, Mona described how she was thrilled at the layers of subversion and gender blurring that was at the heart of this particular blog. You can still read saudigirl’s “outing” on her/his webpage at http://saudigirl.blogspot.com/. S/he writes:
“It first started when I became livid by some of the idiotic arguments that certain public men were using to justify, or make apologies for, the dearth of women's rights in Saudi Arabia. I decided to write to these men in a public fashion. Why not write as a man you ask? Well, I thought it would be more effective (for the cause) if a woman demonstrated the total absence of logic in their arguments. So Alia, a character created for an angry email, became my Arab Amazon, fighting for her rights, and for the rights of all downtrodden Saudi women.”

The discussion at AU also touched on the fact that blogs were a good place for women to reinvent themselves, and to speak out in a way that was not allowed within day-to-day life. One veiled woman described how she started a blog after she spoke out in class and was met with cries of “What! A veiled woman speaking out! You should be quiet…” Writing a blog, she said, was part of her refusal to remain silent. On a blog, you cannot tell if a woman is veiled or not – indeed, you cannot even tell whether it is a woman or a man who is writing. In this way, the blog can override many initial social prejudices.
The discussion also touched on whether blogs were an effective way of changing society. Some of the older members of the audience argued that blogs were a form of escapism, and that it was important to travel and talk to people face-to-face. Just because you blog with two or three people from America or Australia, for example, did not mean you actually knew those cultures…
Can blogs really depose dictators like Mubarak? Who knows… but, as the panel pointed out, blogs were becoming a new media and a new way for the younger generation to assert their voice. We were reminded that two policemen were jailed on Monday for the torture of a prisoner in Egyptian jails – and they were prosecuted principally because an Egyptian blogger spread the video footage of the torture (see my posting on this story – Nov 6). So, the overall theme of the night was: blog! And get your voice heard…

Photo journal of 30-year-old Egyptian woman

The BBC currently has a series of photo journals exploring families around the world. One of these journals is of a 30-year-old woman from Egypt who is a science teacher and mother of three daughters.
Two entries in particular were sad to read because of what they say about the status of women in Egypt. The captions state:

"It took Sherifa a long time to come to terms with the fact that she has three daughters and no boys. Relatives, she says, used to see her as inferior to women in the village who have sons.
"I cried and cried so much when the ultrasound scan showed that my third child, and last hope, was another girl. I am now completely over it. People still tease me about it, but I no longer get so upset. In fact I am happy with my three brilliant daughters, and above all it is God's will."

And:

"Accepting God's will is a theme with Sherifa's life and marriage. "My father was violent with my mother. I chose to marry Ouf because he seemed caring and tender. He used to spend hours standing outside my window," she says.
"After marriage, he changed. He became violent and would insult me in front of his family. I hated my daughters seeing this. We used to argue so much, but with time this passed. I learned that if I wanted to live in peace, I had to compromise, and it has worked." "

For the full photo journal, see http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/picture_gallery/07/middle_east_egyptian_family/html/1.stm

Damned if you Do, Doomed if You Don't

Lisa Belkin studies women in the workplace and her recent article on the topic was no surprise - but it still made me sigh in frustration (I'm guessing this is part of a much wider collective sigh amongst women!)

Emphasising the confusing status of women, particularly when it comes to behaviour in the workplace, Belkin starts her article: "Don’t get angry. But do take charge. Be nice. But not too nice. Speak up. But don’t seem like you talk too much. Never, ever dress sexy. Make sure to inspire your colleagues — unless you work in Norway, in which case, focus on delegating instead."

Belkin goes on to discuss the double-standards and confusing signals that plague the workplace:

"Catalyst’s [an organisation that focuses on women in the workplace] research is often an exploration of why, 30 years after women entered the work force in large numbers, the default mental image of a leader is still male. Most recent is the report titled “Damned if You Do, Doomed if You Don’t,” which surveyed 1,231 senior executives from the United States and Europe. It found that women who act in ways that are consistent with gender stereotypes — defined as focusing “on work relationships” and expressing “concern for other people’s perspectives” — are considered less competent. But if they act in ways that are seen as more “male” — like “act assertively, focus on work task, display ambition” — they are seen as “too tough” and “unfeminine.”

One interesting study by a psychologist highlighted just one double-standard:

"He [the psychologist] is the author of one such study, in which he showed respondents a video of a woman wearing a sexy low-cut blouse with a tight skirt or a skirt and blouse that were conservatively cut. The woman recited the same lines in both, and the viewer was either told she was a secretary or an executive. Being more provocatively dressed had no effect on the perceived competence of the secretary, but it lowered the perceived competence of the executive dramatically. "

Good grief!! As Belkin points out, women just can't win.... Whatever culture I find myself in, I am enraged at the ways in which society oppresses women and assesses them according to different standards. We women just have to keep pushing at those visible and not so visible social, economic and sexual barriers!!

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/01/fashion/01WORK.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5087&em&en=fc0c03fe07914c0c&ex=1194325200&adxnnlx=1194176375-/7GgGL7xUve8xiU8i%2029VA

Mobile phone stalkers - an Egyptian male obsession

Egyptian men are not content with merely cat-calling and hissing. They also, I realise, all make sure that they have cameras on their mobile phones so that they can store images of "Western hotties." I dread to think what use these fuzzy pictures are being put to... eugh. I'm feeling more and more committed to "the right to privacy" as each day passes...

A sleepless night: domestic abuse

I barely slept last night. I think the barrage of sights and smells and noises in this city has over-stimulated my mind. I drifted in and out of a light sleep until morning prayers at 4am. These prayers begin with “god is good, god is good….” And then something like “It’s better to be praying than asleep.” At that very moment, I would have preferred sleep. Just as the prayers fell silent, a woman began screaming and pleading and crying in one of the apartments either below or opposite me. I opened my shutters to try to see her, but she herself was behind closed shutters – in the “privacy” of her own home. This is why so many feminists and domestic violence activists have resisted the idea of a “right to privacy.” There is concern that it is a right that will be used to block interventions into the home when women and children are abused. But this is not what we are working on at EIPR. Instead, the right to privacy is seen as a vital individual right that includes the right to health care, housing, and food. It encompasses the freedom to enjoy a balanced emotional life and to choose a religion without state interference.
How anyone defines this right was, of course, no help to the woman who continued to cry for over an hour. Her screams were all the more upsetting because of the quiet morning darkness. I just hope that some of my legal work can ultimately contribute to bringing greater protection to vulnerable individuals, and to shifting the often grossly-distorted power balances that exist between human beings.

Harassment on the streets...

Should I dress like the women on the billboards or the women in the street??

A number of people have asked me what I'm wearing here in Egypt... I did consider wearing a veil before I flew over here. I'd heard that the harassment of Western women who walk on the streets is getting worse and wearing a headscarf can minimize this nuisance. But none of the Western women I've talked to here wear anything on their head. Most just wear what they'd wear back at home (though you're not going to see mini skirts/ boob tubes etc!) I'm definitely leaning more to the conservative side.. I try to cover my legs and most of my arms, despite the fact that it is so hot and sticky. I'm also trying to avoid anything that hugs my figure. You become extremely aware of any VPL possibilites when you know you're being stared at all the time and thought of as a semi-prostitute...

Overall the harassment is a complete pain. Men are continually hissing, making comments about 'sex/ riding me (ie sex)', clicking their tongue... I've mastered the skill of staring at some nondistinct point in the sky or around knee height. I'm also wearing my big sunglasses as much as possible so I don't accidentally catch a man's eye. It's tiring and a real nuisance. It's horrible to be objectified as a sex object - any feminist instincts I have are being doubled by the minute ;-)