Damned if you Do, Doomed if You Don't

Lisa Belkin studies women in the workplace and her recent article on the topic was no surprise - but it still made me sigh in frustration (I'm guessing this is part of a much wider collective sigh amongst women!)

Emphasising the confusing status of women, particularly when it comes to behaviour in the workplace, Belkin starts her article: "Don’t get angry. But do take charge. Be nice. But not too nice. Speak up. But don’t seem like you talk too much. Never, ever dress sexy. Make sure to inspire your colleagues — unless you work in Norway, in which case, focus on delegating instead."

Belkin goes on to discuss the double-standards and confusing signals that plague the workplace:

"Catalyst’s [an organisation that focuses on women in the workplace] research is often an exploration of why, 30 years after women entered the work force in large numbers, the default mental image of a leader is still male. Most recent is the report titled “Damned if You Do, Doomed if You Don’t,” which surveyed 1,231 senior executives from the United States and Europe. It found that women who act in ways that are consistent with gender stereotypes — defined as focusing “on work relationships” and expressing “concern for other people’s perspectives” — are considered less competent. But if they act in ways that are seen as more “male” — like “act assertively, focus on work task, display ambition” — they are seen as “too tough” and “unfeminine.”

One interesting study by a psychologist highlighted just one double-standard:

"He [the psychologist] is the author of one such study, in which he showed respondents a video of a woman wearing a sexy low-cut blouse with a tight skirt or a skirt and blouse that were conservatively cut. The woman recited the same lines in both, and the viewer was either told she was a secretary or an executive. Being more provocatively dressed had no effect on the perceived competence of the secretary, but it lowered the perceived competence of the executive dramatically. "

Good grief!! As Belkin points out, women just can't win.... Whatever culture I find myself in, I am enraged at the ways in which society oppresses women and assesses them according to different standards. We women just have to keep pushing at those visible and not so visible social, economic and sexual barriers!!

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/01/fashion/01WORK.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5087&em&en=fc0c03fe07914c0c&ex=1194325200&adxnnlx=1194176375-/7GgGL7xUve8xiU8i%2029VA

Female Sexuality Part II

I have continued to read about the topic of "women's sexuality" since my posting a few days ago. Of course, I've thought about this issue at length before: my Ph.D. was on how the women who fought for the vote in Britain negotiated their public/ private identities in their autobiographical writings. Their sexuality inevitably played critical roles in this negotiation.

But, as I mentioned in my "Female Sexuality Part I" posting, living in Egypt has made me look again at the power of my sexuality and the strange dynamics that exist between men and women. I liked one particular blog posting that I read today and I wanted to share the (male, Christian) author's views:

"Faced with the power that women have over men, a power men have had to control through de-humanization, social and economic control, sexual exploitation and physical violence, and the rhetoric of innate sexual difference, many men end up, in the end, a quivering puddle on the floor, terrified that a strong woman will discover and make public what has been heretofore a secret even to these men themselves (except perhaps in their darkest thoughts they dare not express) - these men just don't cut it [I don't totally agree that men 'don't cut it'...]. A sexually, socially, economically liberated woman is a threat on many levels. It is my contention, however, that the most elemental threat is the sexual element. There are various social and economic controls that still exist to limit the social and economic power of women. A woman who is sexually free, however, threatens men's view of themselves at its most basic level. [also unsure about this point....]

You might be wondering about the whole "Christian" element I spoke of above. It is my contention that all that I have written has been written from a perspective that views women as equal creatures before God, created with power and vulnerability, part of which is sexual. Unless we want to deny that sex is a good gift from a good God (as my other told me, "If God made anything better than sex, He kept it to Himself"; there is no better theology of sex that I know of!) we have to start thinking in more creative ways about human sexuality. We should begin by recognizing, as a social fact, the threat posed to men's well-being by strong, independent women. We need to recognize that threat as existing on multiple levels, and deal with it on multiple levels. We need a positive view of human sexuality, one not linked to outmoded social roles and easily avoidable biological consequences, and teach both boys and girls, men and women, about the power they have, and how it should be used creatively and positively; and about the dangers it poses destructively and negatively."

From: "Women, Women's Sexuality & the Right", http://whatsleftinthechurch.blogspot.com/2007_04_08_archive.html
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Female Sexuality... part I

I have been thinking a great deal about many universal, age-old topics as I tramp the streets of Cairo. One of these topics is “female sexuality”… who hasn’t written or thought about this?? Living in Cairo, I am experiencing my sexuality in a completely new way. There are many elements of the society here that want me to regard my sexuality as a dangerous and unwelcome force that I need to keep well hidden. Because this is a male-dominated culture, with men crowding the public spaces, my sexuality is seen as a source of public disorder. Men, it seems, are naturally sexual animals and so it is the duty of women to prevent the men from becoming too excited. Yesterday, I wore a t-shirt that was a little more low-cut than usual. No, you could not see a hint of my breasts. But it also wasn’t all the way up to my neck. The hissing from men doubled or trebled. And numerous women also looked at me and my collarbones with disgust. Otherwise, I was wearing a long skirt down to my ankles and my hair was tied back. I wasn’t wearing makeup.
Yes… I know that I am in a foreign culture with strong religious beliefs and, as a visitor, I should show respect for Islamic customs. I wouldn’t wear a short skirt and tank top. And I understand and respect the religious convictions of many people here. But my perspective is not religious because, well, I am not religious. And I can see clearly how sexuality is being used as a source of repression and how, in many ways, women are the more powerful members of society because they are capable of ‘entrancing’ men with their bodies. But because of the male physical strength, the men have taken over the majority of societies in the world and women are forced to ‘regulate’ themselves so that the poor men can cope.
Today I am reading an article about how the Taliban controlled women and the private sphere in Afghanistan. The autobiography of one Afghan woman recounts how: “Women were not allowed to laugh or even speak loudly, because this risked sexually exciting males. High heels were banned because their sound was also declared provocative. Makeup and nail varnish were banned. Women who failed to respect such edicts would be beaten, whipped, or stoned to death.” (From Juan Cole, “The Taliban, Women, and the Hegelian Private Sphere,” 70 Social Research 3 (Fall 2003).)
The Taliban was a particularly oppressive regime with shockingly anachronistic interpretations of Islam. But I can feel the same type of attitude here: that women need to ensure that they are in no way provocative, in order to save the poor men from their sexual urges. On my better days, I feel sorry for the men on the street and pity their need to hiss at me. It’s a pathetic attempt to seem ‘manly.’ On the harder days, I begin to feel their aggressive shouts and stares get under my skin and undermine my strength. Last night, after walking the streets in my shockingly provocative t-shirt (with sleeves and just below the collar-bone), I decided to head to the all-women’s section of the gym and avoid any male attention. Constantly pushing against the male assertions of dominance can get tiring and I needed a few hours to feel comfortable with my body and not feel judged or sexually threatening. But these all-female rooms shouldn’t have to exist… it should be the men who are made to regulate their bodies and potential sexual urges. And it should be the men who are made to feel embarrassed and ashamed if they find themselves incapable of controlling their excitement at the sight of a woman’s body.