Wednesday 21 November 2007

What is wrong with the men here?

Last night, as I was leaving my Arabic lesson, a young boy (maybe 14 max?) walked past me on dark and reasonably lonely pavement. As he approached me, he leant in and whispered something into my ear. He also grabbed my arm for a split second. I didn't understand what he whispered, but it was threatening and intimidating and certainly wasn't meant to be a pleasant experience for me.
I walked home and fumed (and occasionally cried) for the next 40 minutes. Why would such a young boy feel entitled to intimate and harass me in this way? What on earth is his view of women (and, of course, Western women in particular)?
I was wearing many layers of clothing that covered my arms and legs. I had on a pair of trainers and a coat that was buttoned to my neck (I was kind of hot, actually!). So I was not "on display" in any way... (just in case anyone thinks I might be to blame...)
As this blog makes clear, I am deeply saddened by the way women are treated in this society. As a liberated, strong, free woman, I feel that I am being pressurised every day to be meek and to cover myself and to stare at the floor. Ideally, it seems, I wouldn't leave the house.
One person has told me that I am a guest in this society and should leave if I don't like the customs. But this isn't "custom." This is a social outlook that encourages even young boys to threaten and subdue the women that pass them on the street.
I do not believe that society in the US or the UK is perfect. And I am not 'bashing' every aspect of the Muslim world or claiming that there is true equality between the sexes in any other country. But I am angry and dismayed and horrified at the deep-seated and very public sexism in this society. Even if the Quran does call for a 'barrier' between the sexes, this barrier should also be respected by men. The men, as much as the women, should lower their gaze and not intrude into a woman's personal space. They should keep their sexuality in check in public spaces. Here, men's actions towards women are tinged with violence and are intended to continually underline male supremacy. I feel strangled and it is a fight for me every day to not become subdued and a little defeated.
I do not care what women wear. I do not care if the sexes never look each other in the eye. But I do care that women are continually threatened in the street, are completely absent from political positions (Egypt was ranked 130 out of 134 countries in the "Women in Parliament" rankings, 2005: http://www.ipu.org/wmn-e/arc/classif300906.htm), and that educational opportunities and even health care are nowhere near as readily available to women as to men (see World Economic Forum rankings on women's equality in Egypt at http://www.weforum.org/pdf/Global_Competitiveness_Reports/Reports/gender_gap.pdf. Women's empowerment is ranked from 7 (highest) to 1 (lowest) and Egypt comes near the bottom at 2.38 out of 7).
I do not want one societal model that is implemented around the world. I value the differences that exist from culture to culture, including the degree to which religion is integrated into political and legal life. I accept the principle of modest dress and behaviour, as long as it is demanded of men as much as women. But sexual inequality and a culture of aggression towards and repression of women should be eliminated in every society. I feel in Egyptian society that there is a long way to go.
I am angered when I am living in the UK and US because I am very aware of the gender discrimination and 'glass ceilings' that still exist. As a woman, I face extra hurdles when I contemplate how to balance a career and children. I have to continually assess whether, if I choose to wear makeup or shave my legs, I am bowing to masculine desires and demands. I have to consider why I always feel the need to lose another few pounds in weight. But my anguish in those societies can't match the anger that I feel living in this society where I am physically and mentally assaulted by men every single day.

5 comments:

S. said...

I'm sorry you're having to deal with such nonsense there. I truly do respect your plight. Power on, stay undefeated :)

Anonymous said...

Egyptians and many other Middle Eastern countries today live somewhere between the old world of agrarian certainties and Western democracies, where various groups live together according to rules; in a violent zone of uncertainty and conflict over identity. This is an ideal climate for nihilism. The nihilist motivation is to hate and to destroy the other.

Nihilists take aim at three goals in particular: the "capitalist West," because it mobilizes everything and everyone for its principles; the Jew, because he draws his identity from his rootlessness; and women, because they challenge the totality of men.

Anonymous said...

Ugh, why don't you cry about it? Oh wait... you already did

Rebecca said...

anonymous -
I'm wondering what motivates you to make anonymous sarcastic swipes on another person's blog? You clearly think that the discrimination and violence directed at women here is something that I and every other woman should just "suck up". By smiling and thinking "boys will be boys" or "this is just the way it is in Egyptian society", nothing will change. I was angry and upset. And, yes, I DID cry - and I don't see that as a sign of weakness.

أحمد ع. الحضري said...

i don't have any thing to say, i do agree with you itsn't a custom, but it wasn't like that all the time, it is somthing new, and i think most of us are not like that.
i'am sad it happened to u.
your blog is good, i see it ergularly.
i wish u better time.

ahmed